I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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