It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Randomize
