Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
