she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
