Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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