why didn't you poke me back
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
