im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
