Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
