Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
