At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
