We're facebook friends in real life
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I intend to get homeless drunk
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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