he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
