i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
