she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
