he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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