I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
