Capitaan dildo arrescate!
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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