forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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