You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
