Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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