waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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