I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
