He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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