I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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