I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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