dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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