she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I want to fling myself into the sun
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
