i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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