what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
