I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Sext me about skeletons
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
