No stitches, just platelets and will power
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
