Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Randomize
