At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
