I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
