I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
