He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
The adults are the big ones right?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
