Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
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