You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize
