i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
