No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
