Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
