I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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