i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
