so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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