Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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