Can i not drive my cunt home
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
