I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
