Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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