I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
