i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I could fuck to npr.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
