after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
