I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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