So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize